hmm...odd

it's 5 am and i'm still awake. strange. you'd think my need for coffee at 6 pm and yawns at 9 pm would be indicative of an early evening. instead jason, nicole and i started a movie at 2 am. assholes. oh, and i ate my first and only meal at almost 10 pm, which included not one, but two plates of french fries. well, one was normal potato fries, the other, sweet potato fries. i am disgusting. i promise you, i did not order these, but our overly friendly waiter with the high waisted pants overheard my answer to jason's, "oh, i didn't realize you were getting fries," (which was, "yea, i knew i was, but they were supposed to be sweet potato fries. i don't care.") and offered to bring me more. i told him i didn't want more fried fare in front of me (how's that for alliteration?) but he still felt it was the waiterly thing to do, and while i appreciate this, i then proceeded to eat said fare. again, i feel disgusting.

for those of you who don't know, jason is one of my greatest friends, an old band mate, an amazing dude, and an all around asshole. trust me, i mean this in the best of ways. he's really not an asshole, i'm joking, but we have this thing where he's a jerk to get a rise out of people, uses language he's more than aware i abhor and generally likes to push buttons. but, he's the lovable version of all of these. jason is a smart, very quick witted kid who understand film and literature in a way that always impresses me. he and i are almost the same size, have similarly round faces, have had the same haircut and dress quite the same. all these things being said, we've often been mistaken for brothers. as a matter of fact, my actual brothers have said they're almost jealous or find it weird, because jason and i look more like siblings than i do with either of them.

nicole is jason's girlfriend, but that description does her no justice or is in no way fair. that is strictly a reference point for this specific situation, as you, dear reader, may wonder, "who is nicole?" but who she actually is is someone way bigger and more beautiful, in the sense that she's smart, fun, loving, intense and can hang. nicole has a way of being able to dig at your deepest wound and let you know she's not letting you off the hook easily, which while it sucks at the time, is amazing. she and jason are a great compliment for each other in this way, and generally prove to me time and time again that they rule both independently and as a unit. couples like them make me feel like love is possible, and i love them both dearly for that, and for being just exactly who they are.

jason and nicole recently moved from the second floor of their two family home to the downstairs, more roomy apartment. i once slept in here when they were in the process of moving and the landlord walked in on me basically squatting (not like i was to defecate, but as in sleeping somewhere i wasn't supposed to be.) and then i awoke, let a string of mumbling excuses fall from my mouth and quickly gather up my sleeping bag and was out the door. this is not the first time i've encountered a landlord who was both unaware of my presence but potentially unhappy about it. i'm sure it will not be the last. anyway, i'm not sitting on their futon watching the morning light pass through the shades yet again. but, in my defense, i adapted to west coast time just days ago and then came back to east coast time. it's a half a defense at best. anyway, i need to wake up in a few hours so the cable guy can come plug in their soul sucking machine, and then i'll pack my remaining things and head out to meet up with the let me run dudes to start our tour together. i'm telling you, it's going to be a blast. i hope you're all laughing. much love.

suggestions

(49/365)
warren, nj (to be pronounced as h[a]warren {like bob ross said "white"})
brian (brother)/keith/brian (old bandmate)/dan

my older brother, who while i haven't spoken much of him on here, is one of the most intelligent, well written, smart thinking, fun loving people i've ever met, suggested i present my location and housing on the outset. his suggestion was a bit more specific, but i'm going to take some liberties with it and see how he feels. regardless, i'm not against the idea. would it not be a nice idea, dear reader, for you to know where your lovely protagonist was residing, be it city, state or home? so, we'll see how you feel. any and all thoughts are appreciated.

i guess i've not spoken much of chris because we don't talk as much as either of us would like. you know, it's weird, there's this whole idea of not sharing "private" things with the public. but that's not us. sure, if there is something potentially sensitive, i'll happily and respectfully keep it to myself. but, why not share the things that are wonderful? i personally wish i could cut myself from vocal chord to pelvis, pour myself out and give you all i have. but i suppose i've not been good enough to do that. and perhaps at times that's "not acceptable." but, i really should tell you about the great people in my life. why? well, because they're that important, but also, because i hope you have people like them in your life, and i hope you wish to tell the world of their wonders.

i have the best friends there are. that's not to say you don't; on the contrary, i'm sure you do, and i'm coming to get them. ha. share them, that is. seriously though, i am related to the most impressive humans i've ever met. right now i'm listening to brother brian's songs for his as of yet unreleased album, and i'm close to tears (if i knew how to cry) by how amazing it is. if it weren't for brother chris, i'd be nothing these days, probably an office drone, fighting down a daily regamine of complancency and nothingness. instead, i'm sailing seas of wonder, beauty and possibility. that's not to say that there aren't storms of self doubt, hatred, sadness, fear. but, what good adventure doesn't have trials and tribulations? would any of us care to read a story of straight smiles? i for one would not. interestingly, this seems to be the desire of the people i'm so glad i avoided becoming. perhaps their desire is non-tumult, but regardless, i'm avoiding this sickness like the disease it is. i'm approaching life as the rollercoaster it is, with the respect for upsanddowns it deserves. without them, i'd be a robot, a stoic and worthless. i think in many ways i have chris to thank for this, and do so with my whole heart.

so tonight i sit in my brother's/friend's basement talking to my gay friend via the interweb, remembering how we gave each other strength during hard times, confusing times, and marveling at the simplicity of life and how complicated even that can be. ha. amazing. i'm not sure i'm doing anything right, but i do know one thing:

people i love and respect are telling me i'm doing well.

with that, i'm going to keep working forward. i have faith in my heart, but even then things get hard. but when they do, and i turn towards the wonderful people i have in my life, they hold me up. and, they do so in a way that doesn't make me feel patronized. if i ever felt like people were just trying to protect my ego i'd happily stop it all. but, luckily, i trust and believe so much in the people i love, that i think i should keep pushing forward. if things are ever hard for you, i truly hope you have wonderful people to help you have faith. nobody should ever feel like they need to always be strong on their own. without loved ones in our lives, i'm not sure they're worth living.

perhaps this got heavier than you were willing to lift today. or perhaps it lightened your load. either way, i wish you beauty, happiness, love and laughter. if you need any of them from me, please don't hesitate to ask. all of mine to you,
peej

hello 4 o'clock

i, unfortunately, am able to say this all too often. it's a cyclic problem i've developed. occasionally i'll joke that i'm inertial. i'm not sure that's ever been an adjective anyone has applied to one's self. by this i mean that whatever state i'm in, i want to be there perpetually. if i'm awake, i find no desire to go to sleep. if i'm sleeping, i abhor the idea of waking. the worst part of this vicious cycle is that if i've had a few drinks my mind slows down enough to let me go to bed, but those same drinks are the reason waking up is even harder. i'm sure many would argue that exercise and a good diet, as well as forcing one's body to bed early would cure me of this disease. well, for one, this may be a possibility for some. for two, i've actually tried all of these things both in conjunction with each other, and independently. the success was fair at best. and three, the life i lead is not terribly conducive to any of these things. what i mean is that regular, consistent exercise is not as easy to come by in my days as it may for someone with a standard schedule as well as a place to perform said exercise. sure, there's running that can be done and morning stretches, but i find when i'm staying on someone's floor/couch, i want to put them out the least amount possible. sometimes these people leave before me, thereby allowing me to do some p-ups and s-ups without the fear of looking like an idiot, but the whole going for a run thing is a bit harder as they've asked me to, "lock the door when (you) leave," and i feel odd running while leaving their house unlocked for a half hour or so. then there's the whole, "run before the show" idea, but that always strikes me as a good way to get gross right before i meet people and precisely when i want to be in a relaxed mood. as far as the regular sleeping times, well, when you stay with other people and don't want to be a wet blanket, that's often dictated by their sleeping schedule. and often people want to hang later than they might normally, as their newfound, wonderful traveler friend is visiting for just one night. the issue is, i'm somewhere every night. please let me clarify though, i think this is an amazing and wonderful problem to have. i'm by no means complaining, just trying to explain my situation. i'm most definitely one of the luckiest kids on the planet to be able to travel and have people who actually want to stay up late with me. and that's the issue, is that i never want to turn that down. so almost every night i stay up late, share stories, a drink, a meal, laughs, whatever the night allows. again, let me reiterate, i'm incredibly lucky, blessed and happy about this situation. it can just be a bit exhausting at times. i'm burning the candle at both ends, but at least my hands are warm.

sometimes though, i keep myself up. like last night. two nights ago buddy brian and i went to get mexican food and out to the local watering holes. it was a sunday, and therefore was dead. it's really quite a waste of money to pay bar prices and hang out with only each other while five or so locals sip their bud heavies and their whisky rocks. so, yesterday we decided to make the night worth it, and when brian got home from work i stopped sending out emails and we went to the store to purchase our evening's fare. the liquor store got us white wine and some summer beers. whole foods provided us with mussels, clams, garlic, shallots, parsley, lemon, broccoli rahb and a sourdough baguette.

mince the garlic and shallots, cook in a little butter and olive oil. add parsley. add mussels and clams, then white wine to almost cover. cover pan with lid. steam until all shellfish are open. as for the broccoli rhab, blanch in boiling water to free it of some of its bitterness, then saute in olive oil (perhaps a little butter) with some of the garlic. the baguette, cut on a bias, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with garlic, salt, pepper and rosemary. bake at 375 until crunchy. reserve part of the baguette for soft dipping. while all this is cooking, drink a beer with a friend. when the shellfish open, dump into a big bowl with the liquid, plate broccoli and baquette croutons along with some lemon wedges, extra parsley (and optionally, tomatoes, which would probably work best is thrown in the sauce right before dumping in the bowl). serve this along with some beers or more wine, a good friend and a lovable but nosy puppy. enjoy.







by the way, this was delicious, the mussels were perfect and it was way more food than i would've thought. for about 20 bucks, you could feed yourself and someone you love a fancy, delicious meal. that's pretty sweet.

after the meal we cleaned up, hung out and then brian went to bed, while i proceeded to stay up way later than makes any reasonable sense. did you know emeril has a new show on the "green" network? he must really be losing footing over at the food network. anyway, these are the things i find out at 3 am. i went to bed and woke up this morning to a text from a great friend who's been living in the UK for the last 6 months or so, and we're going to hang out tomorrow. i'm incredibly excited to see him and can't wait to catch up and just see a dude who i've spent many great times with. when i finally rolled my lazy bones out of bed i tried to do some exercising while loki ran in and around me (have you ever seen a dog do the "downward facing dog" position on a yoga mat? it's fucking hilarious.) then worked on figuring out some guitar parts for a band i'll be playing with and rediscovered some old songs i'd written. i'm quite proud of myself for writing all the parts down in these old notebooks because once i start fumbling through them, i actually remember how they go and it's as if the song wrote itself, as i barely remember doing so, or thought i'd lost the song forever. not to shabby. tonight i'm going to try and go see my brother at his new place again, hopefully drink some home brewed beers or eat some homemade pickles. well done warren.

three more days and then i'm back on the road. hope it's ready for me.

(48/365)

welcome back, peej

please meet acacia and jareth, my two new mates. seriously, this pup rules.

sometimes you need to dance with a turtle. just saying.

after the show in LA i was starving and half sober. i decided i needed to change both of these things, as it was the last night and life is supposed to be fun. seeing as the bar was closing and drinks were expensive i took advantage of the various wounded soldiers floating around the bar and topped myself off free. sure, i suppose i could catch some gnarly disease this way or ingest something gross; but you know what? such things don't really concern me. with that, i saw a rather delicious looking meal left on a table. an almost full takeaway container with french fries and an "indian pizza." i'm assuming that's what it'd be called on the menu. it was basically naan bread with a sauce resembling the sauce in malai kofta, a kind of indian version of vodka sauce (basically tomatoes and cream, i'd assume, with nice spices) and then that was topped with what seemed like palak paneer, a creamy spinach dish. it was amazing, especially while so hungry. you might say that this didn't belong to me, so i was wrong for taking it, but i looked around at the near empty and further emptying bar and quickly realized this didn't belong to anyone and would probably be either thrown away or eaten by the staff. so, i ate it and drank my free drinks and was merry. i'm not sick now, days later, so i'd say it was completely worth it. sometimes you just need to be an industrious scavenger, thereby furthering your survival and keeping from having to worry about or make money.

back "home." i have a love for jersey that will never die.

this was from the airtrain to the nj transit train that would take me back to new brunswick. i tried to get in touch with my buddy brian to just have him pick me up and then i'd get back to the bruns the next day or so. i really only needed to go there to pick up my car, so there was no rush. but, getting out of that specific train station is near impossible unless you're actually on a train.

it turned out though, that me taking the train was a good thing. there was this guy eddie, originally from liberia and now from minnesota who got screwed with his visa and couldn't take his flight, so he was headed to philly to meet up with a friend who'd let him stay while he figured everything out. but, understandably, eddie was a little lost and didn't know the area well, so he and i spent the next half hour or so together waiting for the train and then on the train trying to figure out how to get him to his buddy. it felt really good to be able to pay back a little of the positive "karma," or whatever you want to call it, that i've built up on this trip. the way i see it, i'm incredibly lucky and people are always taking care of me, so if i can help anyone else out, either by way of showing them a good time or aiding in travels, maybe planting seeds of positivity and possibility. regardless, i was happy to help and felt good about it.


i got off the train and headed to the apartment where i was to crash for the evening. before heading inside i saw the next door neighbors and they invited me up for a drink. rather than head inside first and drop off my stuff i figured i'd take them up on their offer. me, scott and reeshi shot the breeze, caught up, shared libations and laughed about ridiculous stories we each had. after an hour or so suguna came out on the front steps to share a smoke with a friend and saw me.

"pj! when did you get home?"

it's funny to think about people i barely knew just a few months ago, and now seemingly see all the time. i like that. suguna and her friend came over to the porch, and we continued our relaxing but enjoyable evening. i had planned on going out, but was tired and this was the perfect return to jersey and the perfect evening for my state of mind and body.

if you're wondering, this photo is from scott's bathroom and i just thought it was funny. i hope you enjoy it.

yesterday i went to my brother brian's new place where he's living with a bunch of our friends. the house totally rules and is very DIY, but not in a shitty way. sometimes when you get a bunch of DIY kids together certain niceties and comforts fall by the wayside, and other times it's just a blend of beauty. this is definitely the latter, and the kind i love. they have all sorts of projects, including lots of music, roasting fresh coffee beans, brewing beer, making pickles, homemade veggie dogs, just generally cool stuff. i loved it and felt inspired being there. it's places like these that make me not want to travel anymore. one i finally plant roots i want the trees/flowers to look like these.

and now i'm at buddy brian's house, and we're going to cook mussels for dinner. i'll let you know how it turns out.

hope you're great and laughing.
peej

(47/365)

Alright, alright, alright.

I'm sitting in the atlanta airport and I'm fucking exhausted. Last night I finished packing everything up and went to spend my last few minutes hanging out with Jac, acacia and the band. At one point this guy pushed passed Jac and me and I wondered aloud "is that michael rappaport?" I realized it wasn't but actually a different actor whom I was familiar with but mixing up the names. You know the guy in dazed and confused with the reddish hair who folds his hat in his back pocket? It was that guy. Weird. Anyway I was hanging out with Jac and mentioned that I knew who that guy was, to which she responded, "is it the guy standing over by matthew mccounahey?". Hmm. Yes in fact it was. Wild. I decided I didn't really care to go try to talk to someone I didn't really care about knowing he could care less about me when I could actually spend my remaining time in LA with people I cared about. Funny thing is at one point I needed to push past butch and he stopped me to introduce me to matthew and tell him that I am a talented song writer but just helping out on the tour. I'll tell you what, that was definitely a surreal moment. It's not everyday a highly respected successful songwriter compliments your talents to a movie star. Weird. I shook Matthews hand and he asked me how he could get some shirts. I told him if he walked to the bus with me I'd hook him up. I think this is not the response he expected or was used to. But you know what? He's a guy like amy other. Why should I leave my friends to give him free merch? He was a good dude though and at the end of the night I grabbed him a few shirts and he was appreciative. Overall i'd say it was a fun story. Much more pleasurable though was when Kerry from the state and Reno 911 came up and was very sweet and unassuming. She bought a few things an left me a little tip. Not that I am big into meeting stars or anything but I love when I do and they're real, good people. It's awesome to see people who've worked hard and earned success but don't seem fazed by it. I love this quality and hope that If I'm ever lucky enough to find some success I'll be as thankful and appreciative as I am now.

Anyway, by the time we left and the bus dropped the band off at their hotel and then me at the one by the airport it was almost five am. My flight was at eight so I wanted to get up at six. Fuck me. I woke up at six thirty an freaked because I thought I'd miss my flight. No shower and out the door straight onto the shuttle. Didn't have time to dig through my bag for deoderant. Didn't put any on yesterday. Yikes I must be a sight and a smell. I made a breakfast of food from the bus the might before and slammed that down as I waited for the security checkpoint. You know it's awesome they have these kiosks now where you can check in in two seconds if you're not checking a bag. Anyway I made my flight which ruled but was incredibly tired the whole time. I tried to sleep a little but it was hard not only trying to do so between two strangers but also painfully aware of the face that I probably smelled, I snore and in order to keep from grinding my teeth need to wear what I lovingly refer to as my "geek guard.". Yes I'm aware that term only half makes sense.

Still I survived the four hour flight and tried to sleep a bit before my connectin flight. No dice. I decided to go be some food. You know you fly a lot when you recognize the workers at the Atlanta bread company in terminal c at the Atlanta airport. My meal definitely conflicted with the book I'm reading, "in defense if food," but well, I'm tires and cranky and just don't care right now. So now I'm standing amongst crying babies and hare krishnas waiting to board my second flight of the day. I'm full of diet cola and hate the fact that I won't make it back to new jersey until almost ten. Well new Brunswick. Man I hope I have an aisle seat otherwise someone is going to have to move a bunch of times. Fucking free refills.

(45/365)

salmon hash? ok, i'll bite...literally

i had salmon hash for breakfast. like an ass, i forgot to photo it. what good is having a ridiculous phone if you forget to document things? oh, and the kicker? i hear the new iphone is going to have video, so if i had waited a few months, i'd be able to share moving pictures with you on this glorified diary. by the way, do you remember diaryland? just curious. it was pre-livejournal, and we all wondered why anyone would care about posting one's innermost thoughts, and even more so, why anyone else would care to read said thoughts. and yet, here i am. go figure. on a side note, one of my favorite bands, paulson, had a song called diaryland on their second EP cum first LP. i believe it even enjoyed a short stint on MTV's "the real world." the song totally rules. and yet another tangent, i believe "the real world," started this whole ridiculous "reality show" stupidity. thanks MTV. bastards.


back to the hash. i had a conversation with jac about why i now eat fish. it's totally a valid question, as i've been vegetarian for the majority of the last 8 years. i say majority, as i've had stints of eating fish, so i'd call me pescetarian for those times. anyway, i suppose for a variety of reasons, including watching too much food network television, i found myself occasionally wanting to eat meat. i also think from touring and traveling as much as i have that sometimes i felt like i wasn't putting anything good in my body. and sure, vegetables and fruits would've fixed this issue up nicely. sometimes, though, you need to just listen to your body. at times i've felt pangs of guilt, in that i do like the idea of being vegetarian, and do feel it's better overall. i decided that the three main reasons i appreciate a vegetarian lifestyle (other than just generally feeling better doing so) are environmental, humanitarian and health oriented. based on these three points i felt that if i were to consume any animal, fish and seafood in general are the least adversely affecting in these areas, thereby allowing me to maintain a mostly vegetarian lifestyle while taking in fairly small amounts of animal flesh. sounds kind of gross when you put it that way, huh? ha. i'm sure by now you've come to appreciate my tangential style, and hopefully you embrace it. so, the hash was interesting. i've had fish with breakfast before, but mainly in a lox way, colder and more "flavored." this was good salmon and potatoes under eggs overeasy and questionably sour dough toast. should've gone wheat. i think the oddest part about it was that the fish was hot, as normally fish should be, but with breakfast, well, i'm not sure. (hot fish! for those of you who get it. if not feel free to ask). atop all this arguably decadent breakfast was a shallot and dill creme freshe. wow, how bourgie. i just might have to move to connecticut.

after clearing the glasses from the table (and subsequently being offered a job by the waiter), jac and i headed back to acacia's apartment to drop off some stuff and get me to the el rey theatre for the last show of the tour. it's pretty wild to think that i'll be flying home tomorrow and in a few days back on another tour that couldn't be more different. 6 friends in a van with 5 in another screaming down 95 together trying to paint every town red. we plan on doing lots of swimming, tons of drinking, loads of grilling. and, maybe if there's time, playing the occasional show. i've already packed my bag and am ready to count out all the merch at the end of the night, hand over my final money and prepare for better things.

you might ask yourself, faithful reader, how i got to be here. well, that question can be answered in many ways, and some has been done so already, but for the most part i feel the hole is in the previous hours, the night before, when i feel things occured, as they will, beautifully and full of flight.

as the night ended and i finished up my final work for the evening i realized i had many hours to kill and new friends to do so with. we were not planning on leaving until 10 am, which was pretty sweet as i was happy to be hanging out with jac and her best (now my new) friend, acacia. through them i met libby and the lot of us, after enjoying 24 oz pabsts at an upscale bar (and me getting corned by a drunk latino telling me of his 5 kids from 4 woment while i was taking a poop) we left pomona in search of late night fare, and an escape to LA. it really wasn't that hard. we packed into acacia's car, she ran over a curb, and then we were on our way. upon our return to acacia's apartment i meant the cutest little pup, jareth, a puggle, and whipped a mess of breakfast food as a late night feast. we soon bedded down and i was happy to have new friends and to be seeing old ones. i slept late, got up, showered, headed down to check out acacia's office (which totally rules and if i ever have to work in one, i hope it looks like hers) then off to breakfast.

so this now catches you up. in a few hours this leg of the wild journey that is my life will begin to come to a close. and you know what? i'm okay with that. onward and upward, i always say. i hope this finds you splendid and laughing.

(44/365)

let them eat bread

yesterday butch played the great american music hall in san francisco. after finishing up my merchandise duties and shooting the breeze with the incredibly friendly staff, i headed out to the bus to drop off all my gear and relax for a minute. everyone from the band and the venue were going to a bar around the corner that was playing rock and roll music. after a brief respite i headed over and was immediately impressed by the amount of good looking people hanging around outside smoking cigarettes. i suppose san fran is a pretty town.

upon walking in i was promptly handed a beer. that's good service. ha. i'm not sure who bought it, but that's a great situation i'd like to find myself in more often.

looking around i saw even more beautiful people dancing, carousing and having fun. this is my kind of place. i smiled at pretty ladies, talked to nice dudes and then realized something interesting: this, more so than anywhere else, is the kind of place where you have absolutely no clue what you're dealing with, sexual orientation wise. my buddy and i were dancing with two girls who were friendly, but not overly so, even though it'd seemed like they were smiling at us and talking about us. but that's the thing, they could've been saying, "these straight boys think we like them," or "i hope this breeders don't come over and talk to us." i'm sure it wasn't so mean, but still, i've been in gay bars and obviously knew what i was getting into, as well as been in typically straight bars and knew fairly quickly who was gay, if anyone. not to say i have amazing gaydar or something, but i'd say since i have absolutely no issues with these things, i often find myself engaging in conversation with people of all walks of life. that being said, here was a situation where both the city and specific bar allowed for confusion. overall i found the evening humorous, as it's funny to watch a bunch of dudes try to hit on women only to know they're fighting a losing battle from the beginning. i didn't care as i wasn't trying to pick anyone up, but it definitely made me think a bit.

then, this girl bought all these shots.



holy crap. that's something like 15 shots of jameson. she bought them for the dudes on the tour and for a few of her friends. i think it ended up being either 60 or 80 bucks. all things considered, that's actually a pretty good deal. but golly.




today i walked around pomona, ca a bit, and found what is lauded as one of the best local bakeries in the area, the pomona baking company. they were closing up shop but the guy cut me a deal on some jalapeno cheddar bread. it was really rich, i'm thinking lots of olive oil, and reminded me of other jalapeno cheddar things i've had at places like panera or wherever. it's definitely good though, and i can only assume it's way better when it's fresh. however, if i ever go back there i'll be sure to try either their wheat bread, which is something i generally love, or their chocolate cranberry, which not only sounds really good, but is interesting and different. i usually like to try things i can't get other places, which begs the question, why did i buy a loaf of bread i'm not normally in love with? don't get me wrong, i love all things cheese and all things spicy, but i find bagels/breads of this variety tend to clash with whatever i put on them. oh well, this was good. i got some eggs and put them on, allowing the cheese in the bread to be my cheddar. i found some hot sauce in the venue, so i was laughing.

now i have a few hours until the show, one more tomorrow and then i fly back to jersey. in a few days i'll be starting the tour i'm going on with Let Me Run, and i'm definitely looking forward to that. i think i need to start playing shows again. the last few days have knocked my spirits down a little, planting seeds of self doubt. i think i need to have my guitar in my hands and sing at the top of my lungs. i need fresh air in this chest. i'm going to try and go find some. i wish you the same.

(43/365)