Thanks for coming boys

i went to get my oil changed a jiffy lube. a few thousand miles overdue. yikes. not a smart idea for a boy who lives out of his car. but, i've never had to change the oil on my house before. by the way, you might wonder who/what this wonderful car is that i've been traveling in. please meet sweetpea/sweettea cassidy. she's a '93 plymouth sundance and i love her. sure, she's going a little grey, but i paid my friend 500 bucks over two years ago and have put over 40 thousand miles on her. she's been completely worth it and i am proud of her.

please enjoy the green spray paint on her roof. i was experimenting with covering up the grey areas. that's what i get for not accepting her for who she is.

while waiting i started to write the following blog, but got side tracked and never wrote one. i could finish this story, but i think it's kind of funny as is
---
Last night Steve and I went to the local townie bar and one of the local men was half flirting with us.

(30/365)

pizza tour nyc

i've been the opposite of a busy boy. however, i've spent quite some time on the computer, which perhaps counts as being busy. not sure. right now suguna and i are sitting in the apartment that neither of us live in and typing away on our laptops as if this were some sort of wanderer's computer lab. she calls me a migrant, by the way.

anyway, yesterday after deciding that a sunny afternoon needs beers we walked down to the liquor store and picked up some libations. seeing as i'm on a tight budget i went with milwaukee's best. my friend the bear works for miller and says that at his work the majority of people drink this over anything else in their line. furthermore, a lot more goes into making it than you'd think, but it's sold so cheaply because it's good to have a variety of prices in the marketplace. and you know what, it's really not bad when you forget about any associations to freshman year at college or frat parties. it is, afterall, the best milwaukee has to offer. we enjoyed cold beers in the warm sun, reveling in the fact that we're both somehow existing in this fantasy land where we don't have to play by the "real world's" rules. sure, suguna had to leave to go work a crap job for a while, but that's fine. she knew she'd be coming back to hang out's and 5 beers. over the rest of the afternoon/evening i wrote emails, caught up with backlogged stuff and made phone calls about tour. it's weird having to constantly think about dates 1 to 3 months in the future, imagining holes that need to be filled, friends and strangers that need to be called upon for help. luckily, i've encountered mainly warm, positive people and while i by no means have a totally packed schedule, there are lots of pockets of greatness. but i hate booking tours, i hate asking for favors and i hate having to spend my time working on the part of my music that has nothing to do with music. still, i love traveling and playing, and since nobody else is going to do it, it's a necessary evil. if this is the worst i have to deal with, i'm a lucky kid.

when my eyes got tired i made dinner. risotto with saffron, okra, tomatoes and corn. it wasn't good. that made me sad. i'm a pretty decent cook, but this was really just me throwing crap together with stuff i had leftover in this apartment where i lived so long ago. it's amazing the stuff didn't get thrown out, but at least i didn't have to steal my friend's food. ross bones got home from climbing shortly after i ate and we got to catch up, which is great. i love that kid and always feel better being around him. eventually suguna came home and then brian and we all got a chance to relax together, shoot the breeze and talk. bri, suguna and i stayed up rather late drinking tea, splashes of sierra nevada and talking about india. i rather enjoyed myself.

at some point probably too late for everyone else, i retired to the futon and dragged the single blanket across my tired body, falling off to sleep while tuckerman scratched at the couch. i woke up to brian making a late breakfast and made myself some green tea. i find something comforting about sitting around shirtless in the spring, drinking tea, talking to my brother. again, i'm a lucky dude.

when brian left i exercised a bit, showered and hopped back on the old information super highway. still, i'm not doing everything i need to be, but hopefully in the coming days. i'll also have a lot more time next week, so if i'm lucky i'll bust quite a bit out.

but, here's the most important thing:

this saturday, may 16th, we're taking a tour of New York City pizza. i've done a little research, and sure, should probably do more, but i have a bunch of places we're going to go. oh, and by we, i mean me and anyone that wants to come along, including you, dear reader. i'm going to make an intinerary, approximate cost list and general map of where/when we'll be. depending on how many people come we'll get one slice or a few and split them mulitple ways. should a ton of people come, we'll get a pie and have it cut into a million slices. still, the idea is not get full, but to just try it. maybe i'll make a score card? who knows. and i for one plan on enjoying cold beers. i'm hoping it's a nice day out, but if it's not, we'll eat pizza in the rain. ok, so, if you want in, let me know, and i'll give you all the info you need.

by the way, i'll of course be documenting it in some respect, and those who can't come will be sure to hear about it. i hope this finds you well. i send my love.

(29/365)

late morning breakfast

i'm sorry i had to leave so abruptly yesterday. also, i realize my lack of capitalization while typing on my computer coupled with my horrible spelling and punctuation when using my iPhone is probably driving you batty. i apologize. if i ever have the time to go back and edit all of those previous posts, i will do so. but this is meant not to prove my amazing ability to write beautifully, but more to get down many of the things i'm experiencing as closely to when and how they happened.

with that, i'll pick up from where i believe i left off:

two nights ago after leaving the bar and heading over to scotty's friends' place i was met by three new friends, lynne, nelson and ruben. immediately we took to each other, each offering a great deal of interesting insight and fun into one another's lives. later yis showed up and we had some great talks about art and creativity. it's so funny and amazing to me how i can just show up at a house where my character was vouched for and make wonderful new friends in minutes. from my perspective there was no awkwardness, just jumping right into conversation and friendship. i know full well that there are going to be really tough times on this trip, and i know full well that there will long periods of darkness and despair. but for now, that hard times are short lived and fleeting, while the overarching feeling is one of warmth, acceptance, positivity and fun. color me impressed.

after finishing off the remaining beers and letting the conversations peter out, everyone went to sleep except for nelson and me, who stayed up until 4 am talking about a variety of things related to gender/sexual issues, social acceptance and peoples' overall views of these things and how they relate to one's makeup. it was really nice to have an interesting, meaningful conversation with someone after the many late night silly ones i've perpetuated. i take full blame for late nights turning into ridiculousness, so i appreciate that this night turned into something else.

i had to wake up early because the cable guy came, but nelson let me go sleep in his bed. i woke up a few times marveling at the fact that a mere 12 or so hours before, this kid didn't even know i existed, and now we knew intimate details about each others' past, and he was letting a stranger sleep in his bed while he dealt with the cable dude. again, people constantly amaze me. when i finally got up i met the one more roommate and then headed out with everyone as they went to the diner. i decided to leave for jersey so i could get back in time for the wake, which i'm glad i did, as i ended up being a bit late for the first one. i know there's no specific time you need to go, but i wanted to be there to show my support and love. as i referenced yesterday, i didn't bring any "nice" clothes on this trip, so i had to run around new brunswick to finally get my brother's "nice" outfit. it fit me well in a socially acceptable way, but looked silly on me, and as far as i was concerned definitely made me look ridiculous. but, that's the way it goes, i suppose.

in between the early and late services i went to barnes and noble to write on my phone about the day. see yesterday's poor excuse for an english major. from there i headed back to the funeral home and at the later service i saw the people i expected to see, all the kids from around the area, the punks, the old friends. it's a weird place to reunite with old friends, and since none of us were particularly close to our friend's father, it further confuses things. of course we all feel a great sadness and love for our buddy, but it's not the same as feeling a direct sadness for the person who passed. that mixed with it being nice to catch up with old friends is a weird feeling, though i'm sure this is not the first time something like this has happened. i talked to everyone i could and we all made sure our friend knew we loved him and felt greatly for him. afterwards trevor, jess, corey and i went to get food. i haven't hung with these three in a while, so it felt warm and like home to be able to just be back with kids i love. corey, trev and i will be headed out this summer for a few weeks when i tour with their band, Let Me Run. i'm super pumped for that, as i know those dudes will be a blast and i haven't done a DIY van tour in three years or so. i can't wait. part of me has a feeling that i'm stepping on toes with them though, so i just want them to know i love them and will do my best to be a good van/tourmate.

after supping on chips and salsa, salad and veggie burger, i headed to the secret bar/late night liquor store to get some beer. new jersey has really odd liquor laws, or at least weird to me, in that almost every state but ours and a few others let you get beer at almost any hour at gas stations. here, if it's after 10 pm, you have to buy "packaged goods," from a bar. but, this genius little place is a liquor store that has a bar, and they just keep the hard alcohol behind the counter so after 10 you can still use the beer coolers but they just don't let you touch the hard stuff. genius! it's saved many a late night new brunswick party. and, 24 oz miller high life for 99 cents? can't beat it. took my beers back to my brother's place and we hung out, had some laughs, some drinks and finished a few things on my record. the recording/mixing phase is just about finished, so mastering and artwork are all that's left. mastering should just take a day, so if i can get the art done soon, i'll be laughing. can't wait, it's going to rule. this new record is really good, and i feel great about saying that.

now i'm sitting on my brother's couch sending emails for tours and hoping somehow beyond hope i can keep convincing the world i deserve to play music and travel around. the next step is to have someone book me full time. that, my friends, is the beautiful kicker. i have no clue what the coming days will hold, and i'm ok with that. on monday i fly to atlanta to start the butch walker tour, and that's the start of almost 2 straight months of tours, which is amazing. sure, i have a bunch of holes to fill, which i'll be working on continuously, but it feels great to know i'll make some money on the butch tour and have a blast for 2 solid months. sounds good to me.

by the way, it's 4 pm and i'm still in my underwear. but, for what it's worth, i've done a decent amount of work today. onward and upward, i suppose.

such a pretty pup.

new philly friends rule!

a new friend from my afternoon lunch in the park.

this was the hallway to the sweet underground apartment.

just a photo of my buddy dave for good measure. last night at the hub i suggested joose to two unsure buyers. they bought 10 24 oz cans. dave would be proud.

yis and nelson.

lovely gustav!

jersey city show.

stone skippers at the model home.

word.

this is a photo i forgot to post from NYC. classy shop sign.

dog snake!

keeping warm outside the model home in philly.

my new york city park bench.

(28/365)

For employee use only

I'm sitting on the floor in a barnes and noble and apparently I'm not allowed to use their outlets. What kind if crap is that. Of course I'm going to charge my phone because I really don't care what that guy says but that's just straight ridiculous. I'll tell you what guy, if you need this plug to vacuum the floor I something I'll get out if your way. Otherwise give me a break.

I'm taking a coffee break off of route 18 in new jersey. I was supposed to spend most of the week in Philly writig songs and working on my book, but a good buddy's father passed away and there's no way I was going to stay in Philly when it is just a short drive back to jersey to pay my respects and show my friend I love him. Regardless if the circumstances deaths are never easy, though to be honest, I feel like I'm rarely quickly affected by them. This might be, however, because I've never lost anyone I'm super close with. Of course I have been lucky and hope I never do. In many ways I want to go before anyone I truly love does. Either way my heart goes out to my friend and I hope he knows how much we all love him.

I'm feeling kind of ridiculous dressed in my brothers clothes typing in B&N because I don't like wearing clothes like these (I didn't bring any in my trip with me for a reason) nor do I like the reason I'm wearing them. In a lot of ways I don't like any situation where you have to dress nicely mainly because most if them gave negative connotations. Work, funerals, court, and weddings without true love. To my brothers I'll probably wear a beard and a smile, the cloth draping my body not representing how much I care. Also, the way in feeling right now is expounded by the fact that I think mist chain stores like this suck and the adults who work in them even more so. What did these people do to be fifty years old working in a chain book store? And is that why they're such miserable fucks? I'm not normally so actively against chains but my current experience is mainly dredging up negative feelings. Sure I love being able to steal their electricity but otherwise I feel empty in here.

In a little bit I'll head to the second wake where i'm sure I'll see most of my friends from this circle. Say what you will about our pack of bar fly punks, we have heart and are loyal. We know who our friends are and so do they. And despite what some may think, it's not hard to get let in. Just be a good person, have a good heart and like to have fun. If you're already like that then you're one of us. After the wake we'll either go out for beers or I'll head back to PA.

Over the last year or so I've developed a great affinity for PA and Philly more specifically. Sure there's times I don't feel safe and sure I never sell records there but man are they sweet. It's rare to find such open eared open hearted folk. Maybe I'm just lucky or maybe I'm that good but man oh man I can play the quietest saddest songs and a room full of people will listen silently. That's amazing and I'm not sure what I did to be so blessed but it's incredible.

After my show the other night I went back to my buddy jon's house where we'd grilled earlier and went to sleep. I was woken up by one of my new roommates yelling about how he was pissed that all his beer was gone. We at the grill out were the culprits. Whoops. This kind of scared me and it's not my first time in Philly being woken up by yelling. That's one part if Philly I don't like. Eventually he went upstairs and I fell asleep. In the morning Jon and I shot the breeze over multiple cups of coffee and schemes about maybe going to Europe. I then caught up on emails and then went to murph's to play some music. I'd found out in the morning about the wake so I knew I'd only have one more day to play with murph. We wrote a cool song and then I left to meet jeff for a beer and some food at scotty's bar. They have a great grilled cheese, arguably better than mine, and an amazing beer selection. Also the staff totally rules so as far as I'm concerned the south Philly tap room is one of my favorite bars. Sure for a kid like me it's a little pricey but for a normal human it's great.

Jeff and I talked about everything that's going on with my music and tried to figure out my touring schedule as he's going to help me with that aspect. I then met his lovely girlfriend and we shifted topics to art. By the way if you've never read the childrens book "the hungry caterpiller" your doing yourself a disservice. Scotty hung with us after his shift and then left to go hang out with his girlfriend and their mates. I was going to go to jeffs cause I had nowhere else to sleep but before I could finish my beer Scotty came back and said his friends wanted me to stay with them.

By the way quick interruption. This drunk kid just came over to talk to me. It's six pm. He introduced me to his friend who works at the cafe here and apparently thinks I'm cute. She was so embarresed and very sweet. I felt bad for here to feel that way but I thought it was incredibly nice and told her I really appreciated it. The drunk friend was just trying to help and applaud both if them. It's a great compliment and I fully support people ignoring social constructs. Well done both if you.

Ok I need to go back to the wake. More later. Hope you're wonderful.

(27/365)

you'd think with all this time...

...I'd be writing something worth reading. Nope. I'm out living. Tomorrow though my loves I'll make it all worth the wait, like Heinz 57.

(26/365)

another photo update

i'm sitting in the chicken coop, an awesome house with some really amazing people. justin and dan play in the band trunks and tales. think americana/folk/punk. these dudes have really good hearts, always take good care of everyone and generally care about the world. i'm lucky to have met them. tonight we're going to philadelphia to play to friends and feel great. i've felt incredibly blessed lately. i also really love that it's been nice out and getting nicer. there's something amazing about starting this great journey in the spring, a new beginning if you will. and i hope you will. when this idea first came about it was january, which seems like a perfect time to start a year long project, but a terrible month emotionally, as i can imagine if i had to deal with both the toughness of getting used to living on the road and a cold winter i'd probably have a really rough time. but, instead, i'm emotionally blooming and feeling the sun shine down on my face. incredible. i'm an amazingly blessed kid. somehow i convinced the universe to let me drop out of "real life," and start living a real life. thanks universe, preesh.

i am, however, quite sorry that i've not updated recently. i've been living loudly, so i think it's a good excuse, but i've neglected, none the less.

quick recap:
may 5 and 6 i rehearsed with and played a show with the old pop group. hung out with great friends (danielle, sam, sam's mates) as well as the old bandmates, whom i love and miss dearly.

may 7 i went to go see the sleeping and paulson in a new brunswick basement, which was insane and awesome. basements get sweaty, and in totally non-drunk, but clumsy move, i fell down a small set of stairs in front of 50 people. ouch. my ego was more bruised than my body though, so all was ok. dan, the house kid, always takes care of us and is a good dude. he let me play a few songs for some new friends, and i really appreciate that. over all it was an amazing night, new friends and old. i ran into a ton of people i've not seen for years, but still care about, and was really happy to see they're doing well. also, the paulson dudes remain some of my favorite people in the world, as well as making up one of my favorite bands ever. i met new friends who were sweet and fun and talented, quite a good mix. well done new brunswick. it's times like these that i'm reminded how much i love you.

may 8 i woke up feeling terrible but amazing. brian and david were there, and i was given a breakfast beer. so ridiculous, but occasionally things like these are necessary for stories. brian, david and i then worked on my record for a bit and then david and i hung out in the living room with suguna. it's something we laugh about, how we all were making ourselves at home, relaxing and enjoying each others' company while none of us actually lived there. amazing. the three of us, none of whom have ever really hung out much, walked to get thai food and a brown paper bag beer, headed down to the park and ate in the sun. again, it's times like these i love new brunswick. nice weather, new friends, spending my time doing nothing but laughing, living and loving. i'm constantly amazed by the fact that i do nothing other than these three things and i'm still alive, well fed and healthy. not sure what i did to deserve this beauty, but i definitely owe a great deal of thanks to the world and everyone in it. after a wonderful lunch i packed my car and headed north to jersey city where i was to play a show. it seemed like it was to be a quiet show, but then friend after friend streamed in. i am the luckiest boy on the planet. old friends and new. i played on the floor in the middle of the bar and just used my heart and lungs to project my songs. everyone was amazing. i sold records, got paid some gas money, gave and received hugs, drank beers, felt loved. the bartender, kate, and her boyfriend leigh took amazing care of me. wonderful people, let me stick around after closing, introduced me to the owner. he took us back to his place, which was through a tiny gate in a random wall in jersey city. we walked through a winding alley way that was half indoors, half out. rain dripped through the ceiling and i had to avoid various construction materials to find an unlocked door at the end of this dark hallway. once passing through, we were in one of the most beautiful, classy apartments i've seen in a long while. amazing. here i was, a dude with 4 strangers in a secret apartment just sharing an experience. i love my life. after the quick visit kate and leigh brought me back to their place, which turned out to be an really nice, tall apartment with great style and an amazing little grey cat, gustav. they even gave me my own room with a bed. so fucking great. how am i so lucky? new friends, great times, fun stories, soft beds. again, i'm amazed.

may 9 brought me to annville, PA, where the trunks and tales/chicken coop dudes put on an awesome show in the music building at the local college. lots of friends came out, including a few professors. dan made the stage look homey and we gathered around low lighting and found carpets. so rad. again, eveyone took great care of me, and then we went back to the chicken coop for super late hangs with rad folks.

and now, after a belly full with delicious pancakes and coffee, dan, justin and i are headed to philly for more sweet times. the waltz might not be able to play tonight which severly bums me out, but i'll just make sure to go see brian this week and catch up. i love that kid and miss him dearly.

ok, gotta run. enjoy the photos:

this is a dream spence and i once had.

paulson and the sleeping in a new brunswick basement. love it. except for when everything gets so sweaty that i slip down the stairs. yikes.

four of my new york roommates, my buddy sam has the sweet beard.

another NYC roommate. i miss petey.

so, new york, space is limited, huh?

danielle, the queen of vegan treats. i'm lucky to call her a friend. oh, and this was at 'snice, a quite tasty veggie restaurant in NYC. i got the "cheese steak." big time.

joey ballaro. only got to play one show with the dude, but have nothing but love.

oh, spencer, how i miss you.

such an amazing kitchen in an unexpected basement.

the chicken coop!

the chicken coop kids in annville, pa. love it.

chicken coop show fliers.

greg has been described as being like 20 dudes. it's true. when he leaves the room you're feeling great and exhausted. pump the breaks, greg.

fancy beer.

andy and the mule/donkey glove. this kid enjoys fun, and i like that.

uuuuuhhmm...yea.

(25/365)

Let's all sing along

I've been hanging with the chicken coop kids in annville pa so I've been too busy to write. Soon, I promise.

(24/365)