it's nice getting your ass kicked

last night i played the court tavern in new brunswick, nj. i was asked to play by a good buddy who said that there'd be a bunch of people there and that the other bands knew me and liked the idea of me playing. i liked this idea, so i was down. plus, what else do i have to do? sitting in apartment that doesn't belong to me in a city where i don't live hanging out with a cat and bunny i barely know is fun, sure, but i'm supposed to be playing shows, right? yea, i'd say. so, i hopped in ole sweet pea (my 93 plymouth sundance) and headed down 278 west (after having to turn around twice to actually figure out how to get on the highway) towards staten island and ultimately new jersey. did you know it cost 11 fucking dollars to get out of new york that way? fuck that. i understand why people never leave. anyway, i got to new brunswick, parked my car and went to the court. while there i realized my brother was playing a show just down the street, so i headed over to see him play, running into jillian and liz on the way. i was happy to see they came to hang out, as it's always nice to see familiar faces of lovely people. when i got to my brother's show there was a suggested donation, of which i could not really afford to pay, and they then didn't want to let me in. now, i'm all for supporting bands, especially touring bands, especially since that's pretty much how i make my money, but this was to support a local college arts group. now, that's cool and all, and if people have money to spare, i think that's amazing to support them, but if you're going to do a suggested donation and then try to turn people away when they can't or won't pay, well that's just bullshit to me. if that's your style, just make it hard entrance fee. then there's no grey areas. anyway, they eventually let me, but not after doing their best to make me feel bad, which they continued to do after the show when i went to leave. whatever, fuck them, this ain't my first rodeo. ha, sorry i'm so surly, i suppose it's this beard.

now, our buddy dave was not able to be at the show tonight, and neither was kel, so communipaw was a two piece, just brian and keith. but it was great regardless. in a way, perhaps better, as their obvious connection comes shining through as just the two of them. i love those kids to death, and hope to eventually play music with them again. i'm not going to lie, playing solo is so convienent and my assholeness doesn't need to be an issue cause it's just me, but seeing them together makes me really want to have a strong connection with others playing music. i'm not entirely sure i'm capable of it, but i'd really love to try. my brother is going to be away for 8 months starting in september, so i hope to work my ass off learning how to play guitar well and listening to music with wide open ears. i have songs i need to learn, licks, techniques, etc. when he gets back i hope we can make music and if so, we will make the world sing.

after giving my boys hugs, jillian, liz and i headed over to the court, catching up with tommy on the way. tommy is a great mate, and later in the night, out of the corner of my ear i thought i heard him describing our relationship to some other people. if he was in fact talking about me, it felt great. i heard, "...pj dated my sister six years ago and we all met, hung out and we soon became fast friends." i love it. great people, lots of love, lucky me. so awesome.

now, as far as the show is concerned, there was not much to speak of, but i try to have fun. and i've had so many great shows recently, so many wonderful nights where i'm not sure it works and then people come up and clap me on the back, buy merch, ask for contact info, tell me to come back. nights like those are great, and the ones where people stand close and clap along are even better. last night was more of a "bands watching other bands" kind of situation, which i've obviously had many times, but when i finished and buddy brian played a few songs people weren't even being polite anymore. they were talking loudly, laughing, clinking glasses, etc. my issue is that there is a bar upstairs where everyone is loud and downstairs is there to listen to music. but that's neither here nor there i suppose. i also remet a kid i've met about 10 times. seeing as i hate that i do this to people, i should be more understanding, but i met this kid again in a very specific situation a week ago. whatever, a little taste of my own poison. i decided though, that these were all good things. it's good to get your ass kicked a little bit from time to time. it's good to have reminders that there's still a fight needed. not to say that i've been basking in luxury by any means, but i've had some great shows as of late or at least great experiences, so i need to remind myself and others that i still have lots of work to do. but i'm willing to do it and relish it. i think it's great and look forward to pushing myself more and learning to become undeniable. we'll see how that works out.

a little before last call i headed over to another bar to meet up with my brother, keith and a bunch of other friends. i can't stress how much i love these kids. it's weird, having people you respect so intensely and love being around and also can get silly drunk and flop around the bar together being ridiculous. i rubbed my beard all over people and we laughed our asses off. i suppose it was a "you had to be there" kind of thing, but suffice it to say, even if just for a minute, we were glorious.

of course the only way to end a night like this is to retire to the pizzeria. this fucked with my near raw diet i've been enjoying the last few days, but i guess you just have to live, you know? buddy brian, what i trooper. probably didn't get home until 4 am, and had to work this morning. and i know him well enough to know he went and kicked ass and killed it at work on 4 hours sleep. that guy's a monster. love it.

i crashed out on a couch in my underwear without a blanket, as it is hot as all get out in new brunswick in the summer. fans barely do anything. but i woke up, had a nice breakfast of grapefruit, mango, blueberries and cherries along with my first coffee in days, all thanks to sugu. we sat and discussed my recent hatred for the government that's grown out of my current diet of food related books. it's odd that 1) i'm so obsessed with reading about food, and 2) that the most i've disliked and distrusted the government is based off of books written about food. i'm halfway through michael pollen's "the omnivore's dilemma," and eric schlosser's "fast food nation." in the recent past i read pollen's "in defense of food," and blew through "skinny bitch," because i was curious to see if it was worth something or basically tabloid fodder. i was actually pleasantly surprised with the content that sat behind the base vernacular. they also referenced a variety of texts i've read and enjoyed, most notably, "fit for life," by harvey and marilyn diamond. if you want your thoughts on food to be clarified and demystified, i suggest reading all of these books, but perhaps fit for life the most. they're all easy reads and quite enjoyable in their own rights. but yes, i currently am quite displeased with the state of our food production and how it's destroying both our planet and bodies. sorry for that tangent, but it's been taking up a great deal of my brain and heart as of late.

now i think i'm going to go work on some songs and hope i can get this metal splinter out of my finger by tonight. i hope you're all with loved ones.