Swimming in the air

It's disgusting out. Not really but when you shower and then ten minutes later you're covered in slime like sweat it feels like there's no relief. And since we're in at Petersburg Florida the water we're swimming in is the super salty gulf. Oh well I suppose I shouldn't complain about the fact that I'm spending my day off at the beach with my friends and a free place to stay. Not too shabby.

As for yesterday well we were definitely proven wrong in a great way. We showed up at seven which was load in time and paid the local "parking attendant" to ensure that nobody would break into the van. Man you have to love extortion in the shitty part of town. To give you an idea I saw a lady of the night grab two customers in less than a half hour. If that's not professional I don't know what is.

Anyway we loaded our gear in and then we waited. And we waited. Then we ate fish and chips. They were good. Then we waited. I changed my strings and played Trevor some new songs. He's always so supportive. I'm not sure what I de to deserve him but it rules. Then some locals came over and we shot the breeze while I fumbled through requests. I really need to learn more songs. Eventually we decided I nobody showed up we'd pack and flee town. This is not to say we won't play if there's only a small crowd. I mean the other bands hadn't even showed. But we stuck it out and little by little people trickled in. It was amazing. By the time I played there were more than enough people to have fun. I decided not to use the stage because I hate them and find them unnecessary unless there are enough people to warrent it. So, barefoot in the middle of the bar I played sad songs of hope to fifteen or twenty strangers and friends. It's tough to play quiet songs in loud bars but if the ears and hearts are willing it's amazing. And people were very kind to me and I felt loved. Then let me run played and even more people came. It was awesome. I'm definitely glad I was proven wrong and that the show turned out well. We also sold a few things each and were given a decent amount of gas money which always helps. I got also see my friend stacy which is always nice so besides the random panhandlers hanging around and looking into our van and trying to get money from us, the show ruled. Granted the line up was a little strange but overall really good.

We decided to head back to parkers so we could sleep comfortably and spend our day off at the beach. During the ride I slept but woke periodically to good songs and random conversation. There's something really comforting about dozing and hearing your buddies enjoy the late night drive as I'm fully aware of that peace. At one point I had a waking dream where it felt like my heart exploded out of my chest in a force of pure positive love. I realized that I was alive and living life despite breaking all if the rules our parents and society set forth. I constantly worry and often see the bad side of things but want more than anything to feel the pure love I know should exist and at that moment I did.

So I'm going to keep searching for it. And sitting outside cvs using their power with Trevor and thinking things are pretty good. I hope the same for you.